Smells
Smells is the first episode of season 1 of the Sitcom Bottom, it first aired on September 17th 1991 and was the series pilot episode Plot The episode begins with Richie and Eddie returning to the flat from the pub with Richie complaining over another unsuccessful attempt at trying to get a woman, Richie believes they were lesbians but Eddie tells him he didn't think they were because they got off with two other blokes, Richie tells him he (Eddie) wasn't any help by sticking a Vimto bottle down his trousers and saying 'woo looking for the Ifle tower girls' but Eddie insists he got a result which was a drink out of it which turned out to be a vodka and tonic in his face as well as a kick in his balls. Whilst having a moan about how its Friday night and how he says everyone is doing it he finds Eddie eating lard because he is too drunk to cook so Richie decides to cook a fry up beginning to get over it until he sees a couple snogging in the opposite building, he gets some binoculars to have a look but they close the curtains, Richie goes back to moaning about how nobody will have sex with him, he then decide to write a lonely hearts advert for Richie to put in the paper but after many attempts to come up with ideas they give up. Richie then notices an advert in the paper advertising a new sex spray and so the next day the pair head down to the sex shop and buy themselves a can each of the spray in the hopes it will attract girls to them. hat night the pair prepare to go out. Richie uses up his biros drawing on chest hair, however he has to use a green pen, as he has used all the black pens ink on his legs; while in the bathroom, Eddie shaves his tongue. Eddie attempts to remove Richie's nasal hair by using a pair of pliers. However he ends up throwing Richie around the room, this in turn leads to a fight between the two, until Richie stops it by saying they should take it out on the 'birds' later. Both apply the sex-spray liberally and Richie fantasises about finally "doing it". Eddie slowly becomes inebriated on the spray, after spraying it into his mouth. The pair then venture to their local pub, "The Lamb and Flag", where Richie attempts to pick up the wife (Harriet Thorpe) of a large man. He and Eddie pretend to be insane in order to prevent him from beating them up, but not before Richie has his testicles crushed by the man. They then force themselves upon two attractive ladies sat nearby, who are eager for them to leave. They leave them to buy condoms. In the toilet,whilst trying to get condoms from the machine Richie is punched by the large man but in return end up with what they wanted in the first place (condoms and ,lots of them) When the two return from the toilet, the girls have moved tables in the hope of avoiding them. When Richie confronts them, they claim to be lesbians and leave. Richie is disappointed, but this subsides when he realises a drunken Eddie is now attempting to seduce him, as he has become completely 'drunk' and mistaking Richie for a woman asks him for one on his kisser,Richie in return then punches Eddie in the face and thus the episode ends Cast Ade Edmonson Rik Mayall Lee Cornes Clive Mantle Harriet Thorpe Cindy Shelley Carla Mendonca Kevin McNally Notes This episode marks the first appearances of Richie, Eddie and Dick This is the first time The Lamb and Flag pub is seen in an episode In an outtake on the Fluff outtakes video in the scene where Richie reaches for the binoculars to look at the couple in the opposite building when he reaches for them they(the binoculars) are not there and a studio member then walks on camera to hand him the binoculars In this episode a couple is seen from the flat window in the opposite flat, this is the only time another person is seen in the or in an opposite building from the flat they live in This is the only episode in which we see Eddie vomit This is the first episode in which we see the inside of a shop A picture of Sooty from Sooty and co can be seen on the front of the paper Errors When Richie and Eddie enter the pub they are attacked by the dogs because its explained that the dogs are attracted by the spray but on every other occasion when they enter The Lamb and Flag they are attacked by the dogs anyway When Eddie uses the pliers to pull out Richie's nose hair you will notice that the pliers bend showing they are made from some sort of soft material, possibly rubber Its implied in the stage shows that Eddie can't read or write but in this episode he is seen reading one of the adverts in the newspaper When Eddie gets up from the table with the two Women round (whom he and Richie are trying to chat up) as he says the line keep yourselves we shall be but a moment one of the women is holding a glass, moments later the glass she had been holding has disappeared